????
Lance and I were sitting on the roof of his house, I had a cigarette, he had a Diet Coke and it was nearly midnight, and raining. I felt anxious: neither of us had spoken in like, 15 minutes.
Finally, he turned to me, kissed me, and said "My dad beats me. What should I do?" and I dropped my umbrella to the ground. We kinda watched it sail to the concrete below and then it fell silent.
I didn't know what to say, until he put his hand on top of my hand and leaned on my wet shoulder, and even then, I only said "Oh."
What am I supposed to say? I want to help him, but he refuses to tell his mother. ("She has a weak heart!" "She'd be crushed!" "It's not that bad, I guess." "Forget it, I think I'll be fine.") He's diabetic, his bruises are purple and the man broke his hand just last week ("I was playing hockey." "I fell down the stairs. Stupid, huh?"). And I didn't even know before! I thought he was a klutz because he's always been a klutz! He never told me his father was a vehement homophobe, or that all of his broken bones and bruises and (once) stab wounds were from his dad! Is this my fault for not paying attention? Or should he tell his mom? What if she gets hurt?
We got down from the roof and went into his bedroom, to sit on the couch. He took of his wet shirt and sat beside me, with his arms crossed. I told him, "Someone's gotta know." but I didn't really think thats what I meant. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him not to go back to see his dad. (He commutes from Toronto to Hamilton).
Was that right? There has to be a better way! I hate watching him get hurt, and I hate it when he never asks for help., but I'm happy that he trusts me enough. I don't want to break that trust, but I think I need to tell his mom.
Help?
Johnny
Finally, he turned to me, kissed me, and said "My dad beats me. What should I do?" and I dropped my umbrella to the ground. We kinda watched it sail to the concrete below and then it fell silent.
I didn't know what to say, until he put his hand on top of my hand and leaned on my wet shoulder, and even then, I only said "Oh."
What am I supposed to say? I want to help him, but he refuses to tell his mother. ("She has a weak heart!" "She'd be crushed!" "It's not that bad, I guess." "Forget it, I think I'll be fine.") He's diabetic, his bruises are purple and the man broke his hand just last week ("I was playing hockey." "I fell down the stairs. Stupid, huh?"). And I didn't even know before! I thought he was a klutz because he's always been a klutz! He never told me his father was a vehement homophobe, or that all of his broken bones and bruises and (once) stab wounds were from his dad! Is this my fault for not paying attention? Or should he tell his mom? What if she gets hurt?
We got down from the roof and went into his bedroom, to sit on the couch. He took of his wet shirt and sat beside me, with his arms crossed. I told him, "Someone's gotta know." but I didn't really think thats what I meant. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him not to go back to see his dad. (He commutes from Toronto to Hamilton).
Was that right? There has to be a better way! I hate watching him get hurt, and I hate it when he never asks for help., but I'm happy that he trusts me enough. I don't want to break that trust, but I think I need to tell his mom.
Help?
Johnny
posted by Mr. Death at 3:44 p.m.
6 Comments:
That's a tough one and a horrible ordeal for him....if his parents were church-goers, perhaps the preacher could intervene or someone from church, a family relative...I've been there though so I don't know...I hope he gets help soon though :(
They've never been church-goers, but I think I might convince Lance to tell his older brother. :p
Thanks for helping,
Johnny
Johnny...this is bad...Ok, he goes to visit his dad? Then no, he should not go again...maybe the next time dad will kill him. Talk to him about it, bit by bit, obviously he is willing to open up to you for some reason..so try to get him to talk about it. He can stop going to his dads, or he can go as far as going to the police and having the bastard arrested for assault. His mom may be sick, but she would really be sick if her son got really hurt, or worse case scenario, killed. Isn't he old enough to make a decision not to go anymore? and if his dad says anything, he can tell him, I took pictures of all my bruises (he should start doing that anyway just to have a record) and if you try to make me come over there again, I will go to the cops. period. Please let me know how it goes, and if you need to speak to me by phone, email me for my number. :::hugs:::
that's really fucked up!
Chase gave good advice. And if he doesn't want to tell her mother, maybe there are relatives he can trust that could help him? He shouldn't go back to his dads cause as Chase said, he could get killed. Damn! I don't know what to say.
Wow, this is really hard. It is wonderful that he opened up to you, but I can really understand how totally helpless you can feel about this situation. Many of the comments here are great.
This is tough, for sure
~Deb
Chase, thanks. It makes a lot of sense that his mother should know no matter how sick she is, so we decided to inform her and see where it went from there. (We being Lance, his older brother and I).
I asked him about his decision, too, I figured if he didn't want to go, he's 17, he should be able to choose. It seems to me that he feels he will get out of everyones way by doing this.
Thanks for the comment, joy. :)
And deb, thanks also. I feel a little more in control now, and I am very happy that he trusted me so much <3.
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