Merry Effin' Christmas
Fucking cretins....I hate TV. Human nature becomes a bottom denominator on television...football, sex jokes, racist comedians and America's Funniest Home Videos....Which has only one credit for its name: it's stupid ass people getting what stupid ass people deserve....but for the very end, where they are rewarded for being stupid or clumsy. What the fucking shit??
So I spent Moms birthday/Christmas Eve/Mom's death day watching America's Funniest Home Videos, Friends and football...which I hate, hate and hate. Lance was kind though, and eventually popped in an early X-Mas gift (Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law) and we watched that and The Boondocks until bedtime.
I found I went almost the whole day without thinking about my mom...until I was laying awake after sex with Lance, listening to him humming as he washed his hands and face and brushed his teeth before bed. It sort of struck me, and even with the thought I just presented: "Why didn't I think about her at all, all day?" I felt guilty...but a little proud at the same time...Not that I want to forget her, but I don't want it to destroy what life I have that is happy, either. I figure, in ten years, I'll be about her age, and that kind of makes me sad. When Lance sauntered back in, he smelled like soap and Aquafresh, so I rolled over and hugged him and forgot about her again.
I know what people say to me. They say, "Johnny...she'd want you to be happy..." But of course, if they're dead, the saying applies to anyone, and anyone could back me up...But with my mum, I know its true. So for now, and this may or may not be a New Years Resolution, I will just try to be happy...calm down and stop ranting about how much I hate human nature...But it probably won't work, because Lance still watches The Price is Right every morning at 11.
JV
So I spent Moms birthday/Christmas Eve/Mom's death day watching America's Funniest Home Videos, Friends and football...which I hate, hate and hate. Lance was kind though, and eventually popped in an early X-Mas gift (Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law) and we watched that and The Boondocks until bedtime.
I found I went almost the whole day without thinking about my mom...until I was laying awake after sex with Lance, listening to him humming as he washed his hands and face and brushed his teeth before bed. It sort of struck me, and even with the thought I just presented: "Why didn't I think about her at all, all day?" I felt guilty...but a little proud at the same time...Not that I want to forget her, but I don't want it to destroy what life I have that is happy, either. I figure, in ten years, I'll be about her age, and that kind of makes me sad. When Lance sauntered back in, he smelled like soap and Aquafresh, so I rolled over and hugged him and forgot about her again.
I know what people say to me. They say, "Johnny...she'd want you to be happy..." But of course, if they're dead, the saying applies to anyone, and anyone could back me up...But with my mum, I know its true. So for now, and this may or may not be a New Years Resolution, I will just try to be happy...calm down and stop ranting about how much I hate human nature...But it probably won't work, because Lance still watches The Price is Right every morning at 11.
JV
posted by Mr. Death at 6:03 p.m.
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