For Some Reason...
stacie
streetcorner sweetheart
(the) streetlight (her) spotlight
cigarette ashes frozen cash
and she fades into the night
extra pretty make-up
for her extra pretty eyes
her mouth it never smiles
but was it worth the lies..?
she wants to be a movie star
not dead--in heart and mind
she wants to be a laughing spirit
not fucked--she wants to shine
her pretty powedered lipstick
and her lovely razorblades
did nothing for her sadness
she was constantly afraid
she's a faceless masochist
(this is what they say)
"no one will remember you
when you fade away"
she wants to be a movie-star
not dead--in heart and mind
she wants to be a laughing spirit
not fucked--she wants to shine
(a nameless, dreamless innocent
a victim of perversion
she found the answer *this isn't it*
drank up her diversion...)
she wants to be a movie-star
not dead--in heart and mind
she wants to be a laughing spirit
not fucked--she wants to shine
she wants to be recognized
so they will know her name
she wants to rid the sick, and doubt
and hide away her shame
she wants to be a movie star
not dead--a buried soul
she wants to find her kindred spirit
no strangers, from days ago
her pretty powedered lipstick
and her lovely razorblades
did nothing for her sadness
she was constantly afraid
stacie never wanted anything
**she's smothered thinking up a lie**
- "Stacie" by Joker
For some reason (hence the title of the post) I spent about the 6 hours before 2:30 crying my eyes out...I woke up depressed and I have NO idea why. It's possible that its because I lost my meds...but I doubt it.
I used the word "fucked" above, because I think when it comes to loveless sex, thats probably the best word for it...I don't care if couples who love eachother use it, or people who don't love eachother call it making love, it just has the SOUND of a loveless, cold word to me...so there...;)
This song was based on Stacie, my moms best girl friend in highschool (still around, still best friends with Alex, still Star's aunt etc.). She lived her life on the streets because her father used to abuse her and her mother has left them. She survived off of the money she made as a prostitute, and since she was alone (meaning, no "pimp") she was hurt a lot more by the men who hired her...Which may or may not have encouraged her lesbianism. She finds men disgusting (sounds like she's overreacting, but she had plenty reason to hate them as a whole), therefore she's a radical feminist. She was pulled out of it when she met Julie, who also went to her highschool, and they fell in love, Stacie moved in, etc.etc. Anyway, about 10 years later, I'd say, the two are married. (I mentioned it earlier)
Cheers,
JV
p.s Lance is still upset about his guitar...
streetcorner sweetheart
(the) streetlight (her) spotlight
cigarette ashes frozen cash
and she fades into the night
extra pretty make-up
for her extra pretty eyes
her mouth it never smiles
but was it worth the lies..?
she wants to be a movie star
not dead--in heart and mind
she wants to be a laughing spirit
not fucked--she wants to shine
her pretty powedered lipstick
and her lovely razorblades
did nothing for her sadness
she was constantly afraid
she's a faceless masochist
(this is what they say)
"no one will remember you
when you fade away"
she wants to be a movie-star
not dead--in heart and mind
she wants to be a laughing spirit
not fucked--she wants to shine
(a nameless, dreamless innocent
a victim of perversion
she found the answer *this isn't it*
drank up her diversion...)
she wants to be a movie-star
not dead--in heart and mind
she wants to be a laughing spirit
not fucked--she wants to shine
she wants to be recognized
so they will know her name
she wants to rid the sick, and doubt
and hide away her shame
she wants to be a movie star
not dead--a buried soul
she wants to find her kindred spirit
no strangers, from days ago
her pretty powedered lipstick
and her lovely razorblades
did nothing for her sadness
she was constantly afraid
stacie never wanted anything
**she's smothered thinking up a lie**
- "Stacie" by Joker
For some reason (hence the title of the post) I spent about the 6 hours before 2:30 crying my eyes out...I woke up depressed and I have NO idea why. It's possible that its because I lost my meds...but I doubt it.
I used the word "fucked" above, because I think when it comes to loveless sex, thats probably the best word for it...I don't care if couples who love eachother use it, or people who don't love eachother call it making love, it just has the SOUND of a loveless, cold word to me...so there...;)
This song was based on Stacie, my moms best girl friend in highschool (still around, still best friends with Alex, still Star's aunt etc.). She lived her life on the streets because her father used to abuse her and her mother has left them. She survived off of the money she made as a prostitute, and since she was alone (meaning, no "pimp") she was hurt a lot more by the men who hired her...Which may or may not have encouraged her lesbianism. She finds men disgusting (sounds like she's overreacting, but she had plenty reason to hate them as a whole), therefore she's a radical feminist. She was pulled out of it when she met Julie, who also went to her highschool, and they fell in love, Stacie moved in, etc.etc. Anyway, about 10 years later, I'd say, the two are married. (I mentioned it earlier)
Cheers,
JV
p.s Lance is still upset about his guitar...
posted by Mr. Death at 2:16 p.m.
14 Comments:
hey joh....sorry i havent been keeping up with you, my online acess is cut for about another week...sitting in taco bell cause they have free wifi, but its like a half hour from my house i probably wont come back till friday, unless i get my online back before then. thinking about you...hopeing all is well, i read all of your posts...dont be sad, things will be ok in the long run if you stay true to your heart, tell lance i said hello, and kiss your baba for being so darn sweet. talk to you soon.
Oh, I missed you!
Have a good week then, looking foreward to seeing you soon.
<3
JV
p.s. your post is just a little bit too close to home (workwise)...and i'm not in the mood for commenting on it...sometimes life is just too painful i like to avoid it (gee, sound familiar?)*sigh*...chat later
i posted this on your previous comment by mistake, meant to post it here.
take care of yourself!
luv,
pj
Sorry, pj...I didn't mean to.
JV
Booya!
The spontaneous depression - well that happens to everyone from time to time - just make sure you don't listen to any sad songs when it comes on, no matter how tempting otherwise it'll be prolonged. I think. ^^
Fair enough...I try and write when I'm depressed instead.
JV
hey man, don't take on my crap too, you don't have to apologize for your posts, i'm just saying...
take care of your sweet self,
cheers for now,
pj.
p.s.
i don't know why, but i'm just very very tired these last couple of days, (maybe like a fly in cold weather - have you every noticed that flys cannot buzz when it is cold?)
Why are women-haters called "misogynists", but man-haters are just "radical feminists"?
As some one who hates men and women equally, I have to question why there isn't a new term to replace both. How about "Gender Supremacist"?
PS: Nice poem.
I really liked that poem too.
youve pinned it really well on this poem and the subsequent blog.
they, (who's "they"??) say: "no news is good news", but i say, it's been too quiet around here for too long...what's up Doc?"
pj
Thanks for the comment on my lyrics...was hoping for some feedback...and also, sorry for the delay. I've been "dealing", so to speak.
JV
at first i did not realize that this was "penned" by you... don't mind me, the "poser" is back. [i wish i had a digital camera then i could post more "up to date" photos of self - and stupid me, i bought myself a new cell phone w/o shopping around, and now i realize i probably could have got one with a camera, ah well]
...and yeah, some men are disgusting...as are some women, however... you can find nice people, it just takes work and getting out of our negative habit patterns, which of course, we all know is not easy.
like i said, you are so talented and creative, but it is hard to keep the balance...to explore the creativity, to express it, i know sometimes it drags you down into the darkness, but then to survive you have to come back into the light...it is a process, and unfortunately there are no easy answers, i certainly do not have them, but i do know it can be done, if you can just hang on to that [i really don't know what kept me from tipping over the edge - and i came too close sometimes,. Now i recognize the signs in myself, and somehow i have just developed the knack of backing away before i self-destruct!
cheers for now,
pj
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