Running out of Titles...
Last night, I woke up at around 2, finding that I was still alone...I heard Lance typing furiously in the next room, and once he saw me sit up, he beckoned me over.
He was taking to Allen. The gist of the conversation was that his father came back from the hospital at around 8 that night, and that he'd made a date with one of the nurses. Lance and him were exchanging angry single-parent dating stories...Even though Mr. Narayan (Fran's boyfriend...once again, Fran is Lance's mom) is really nice, Lance doesn't like that his mom is dating. (**Its weird for me too, because when Lance's parents got divorced when we were 6, neither of us remember her dating again till now)
Eventually, after we took turns comforting our crazy mute-buddy, we got into bed and started making out, again. I think I was pressuring him again, I wasn't even thinking about my temporary vow of celibacy. Again, he stopped me, this time, by rolling off of me and saying "Oh boy..."
I asked, "What?"
And he propped himself and smiled at me. "You're doing it on purpose, now, J."
I hadn't really thought about it, but I think he was right. I blushed.
"You know I want you..." He said. He closed his eyes and I kissed him on the cheek. "But if you get me to a point where I don't want to stop, its not fair for either of us. I don't want to be selfish...especially accidentially...y'know?"
"I guess."
"I'm worried about you, and I won't like it."
"Eh?"
"I mean..." He winked. "I'd like it, but not the after stuff. The cautions.."
"Precautions. I know."
He hugged me, and sighed a little...I think he's been feeling bad lately. He went back on the computer, and I fell asleep, sexually frustrated and a little concerned...
Also, I think I am doing it, subconciously...Leading him on...I think my inner brain wants sex, but my outer brain knows its a dumb idea. O_O
Boooooring...
JV
He was taking to Allen. The gist of the conversation was that his father came back from the hospital at around 8 that night, and that he'd made a date with one of the nurses. Lance and him were exchanging angry single-parent dating stories...Even though Mr. Narayan (Fran's boyfriend...once again, Fran is Lance's mom) is really nice, Lance doesn't like that his mom is dating. (**Its weird for me too, because when Lance's parents got divorced when we were 6, neither of us remember her dating again till now)
Eventually, after we took turns comforting our crazy mute-buddy, we got into bed and started making out, again. I think I was pressuring him again, I wasn't even thinking about my temporary vow of celibacy. Again, he stopped me, this time, by rolling off of me and saying "Oh boy..."
I asked, "What?"
And he propped himself and smiled at me. "You're doing it on purpose, now, J."
I hadn't really thought about it, but I think he was right. I blushed.
"You know I want you..." He said. He closed his eyes and I kissed him on the cheek. "But if you get me to a point where I don't want to stop, its not fair for either of us. I don't want to be selfish...especially accidentially...y'know?"
"I guess."
"I'm worried about you, and I won't like it."
"Eh?"
"I mean..." He winked. "I'd like it, but not the after stuff. The cautions.."
"Precautions. I know."
He hugged me, and sighed a little...I think he's been feeling bad lately. He went back on the computer, and I fell asleep, sexually frustrated and a little concerned...
Also, I think I am doing it, subconciously...Leading him on...I think my inner brain wants sex, but my outer brain knows its a dumb idea. O_O
Boooooring...
JV
posted by Mr. Death at 2:40 p.m.
5 Comments:
its not boring at all. at least both of you know when to stop, and why for now, you two cant go there. that takes A LOT of will power. you'll both know when its time to go there again. i made the mistake of going there, when i wasnt ready, and its had a huge impact on our relationship, even to this day. have a good night,
dawn(duskydawn)
Its hard to know when to stop--I can't do it, and he confessed that its painful for him too...lol...
Cheers and thanks for commenting
JV
ok im have only started reasding the blog but can you tell me why you both need to stop ? And why are you being celibate for now ? Its ok if you dont want to answer :)
isn't it funny that some peoples sex drive increases during states of depression/panic/fear/anger (me), and others withdraw from it completely (joe)....:::shrugs::: big mystery to me hpw we ever have it at all. lol
My sex drive always goes up when I'm upset...I feel like I need comforting more...lol
But Lance tends to be more "frisky" when he's excited or happy...
And jumpinginpuddles, its a bit of a story...but its detailed in my archived stuff...I think my Weird Dream post on the bottom is where it started.
Cheers
JV
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